9 things men/women can share with friends but not with their spouses
We live in a world where we are constantly judged by how we look and what we say, especially the later. We are shaped by labels and the treatment as a result makes us who we become. Some of us become too open; others tend to become overly reserved. However, it is not the only thing that makes us so. Please read the article what an every women must do before getting married.
Some of the ways we behave are an artifact of a social construct, in which ones sexual orientation, social status or the way it has always been done in one’s culture all play a role. It shapes both us and our social roles. This is also the reason why siblings, parents, teacher, students, peers and spouses behave in certain ways. It is a pattern. Needless to say, this is also why articles like this one come into being, since we have not measurable, but, kind of predictable behaviors.
Having said that, we can now tell what are some of the things that people can share with their friends but not with their spouses. Let’s see:
We live in part of the world where our neighbors know more about where we go and when we come than our own parents. Sadly, this mind set has trickled down into our heads so much so that it is prevalent to come across marriage advertisements that say: ‘looking for a rich, educated and virgin spouse’! Of course in a society like this, your spouse is bound to hide their past relationships, broken engagements, commitments and failed marriages. What do you expect? Your friends however would know even the finest details about your so called love life.
Although this is one of the things that partners should not keep from each other, but turns out they do. Not necessarily something that you would tell a friend about but you may even, but spouse, out of question. There is an impression that men tend to hide their salary, but women also hide finances from their husbands. A lot of women hide how much exactly they spend on their stuff; some pay the bill half on their credit card and half in cash, just so their husband won’t know.
Some have secret bank accounts as security money in case things go wrong in their relationship. If you have a secret bank account and your spouse finds out they may get the idea that you want are banking on your marriage to fail, which can lead him to think that you are others secrets from him. Finances are very important in a marriage so it is best to weigh possible outcomes before taking any step.
STILL IN TOUCH WITH THEIR EX
Bumping into exes happens all the time, however, these run in-s are intentional or not, is up for a debate. I will start by saying that no matter how close or how deeply in love you were, it is now a closed chapter and is not fair to your partner. However, some of us want to stay friends with our exes (at least our friends convince us of that) and so keep in touch. Nevertheless, history is everything, which is why your spouse may be hiding it from you.
Women and men are both different when it comes to sexual preferences. While men tend to be open about it, women are not so much to their spouses. You may find them babbling about it non-stop to her girl friends, around her man it is a whole another story. Men are open but not always. It may be one of the things that they are physical to you about but verbal to their pals. They fanaticize sex but they fear that you might get scared of their fantasies.
I MAKE MORE MONEY THAN YOU
There is a historical discussion going on about this particular subject. Even though men are alphas and feel proud to be the bread winners and may claim that their spouse’s salary does not matter to them, it actually does. Wait till you start making more. I am not trying to afresh an argument here, but only stating the facts. Both men and women eventually think more of themselves when they earn more than their partners, but will never utter it.
THEY STILL SEEK ADMIRABLE GAZES FROM “STRANGERS”
Yes, both men and women love to feel wanted. While men are put on the spot for never getting fed love/lust enough, women too seek it out. I am not saying she wants male gaze, but let’s face it, we all love to be sought after.
THEY WANT YOU TO BE POSSESSIVE BUT NOT TOO MUCH
Everyone loves to be fought over, of course not with spears, but spouses want their partners to notice and care. When the waiter tries to flirt a little bit or when someone checks you out, they want their partners to raise an eyebrow or give a meaningful look. It is cute and people dig it. Of course do not become Rahul from Darr taking the living spirit out of her. Just a subtle suggestion of care will do.
MODERN BUT STILL TRADITIONAL
We are living in a modern globalized world. Ideas and traditional roles are changing. However, many of us want, at least at times, for our partners to take up the traditional roles. Women automatically appreciate men who hold the bags for her while shopping. No matter how bindass she may be, she wants you to be “the man”. As for men, they also want you to pamper them like a lovely wife. They expect from their wives to make them dinner, check on their clothes before they leave for office, no matter how much they appreciate your independent nature; they want you to do this.
I GO THROUGH YOUR EMAILS AND PHONE
Sounds dreadful, yea? But, holds true. Most of the spouses are curious of their spouse’s lives so go through their phone and email. Sometimes they are unsure where the relationship is going or what you say to your friends in a heart-to-heart. This I however nothing to worry about married couples should not have any secrets, as for things you just cannot share, may be a face to face with your pal should do.
So, this is what we have:
|WHAT MEN DON’T SAY||WHAT WOMEN DON’T SAY|
|Both men and women tend not to talk about past relationships,
However, women do tend to be more secretive
|Mostly men are secretive about this, because in our part of the world they are the prime bread winners||Now, women too are working, which means they are also secretive|
generally not open to each other about their exes
let alone still being in touch
|Men may be open to their spouses about sexual preferences. Nevertheless, it isn’t something that flashes your mind and you spit out||Women are loose talkers with their girlfriends but when it comes to their husbands they can be very reserved. Of course there are exceptions|
|Men take pride in earning the bread. Of course it doubles when it is more than their spouse||Women tend to be more concerned with taking pride in earning more, often become arrogant|
|They want girls to want to hook up with them||They want it more because having kids have made them more in a position to get approval from other men|
|Want you to be possessive without being a psychopath|
|He digs you to become the typical biwi at times.||She wants to you to take up the traditional “man” role.|
|They creep on you, not to creep you out,
Just to know
So now you know what is being kept from you and what you should keep.